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Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Pure Filth!


At any one time we all know at least one person who’s looking for love and who feels their life isn’t quite complete without that all too important “special someone”.

Several of my friends in this situation – both male and female – spend an awful lot of time, not to mention money, on looking their very best and the majority are plucked and moisturised to within an inch of their lives.  It’s the everlasting quest to look as fabulous as possible “just in case” they bump into Mr/Miss Right whilst wrestling with the ready meal for one freezer cabinet in the local Sainsburys.  I’m always being told “well you never know”……..

However, there is one thing that sometimes slips because today’s singletons spend such a lot of time at work and then tend to play hard or spend time in the gym (insert self-improvement venue of choice here – for me it would be more likely to be the nail bar!).  That one thing is the state of their homes!

According to recent research, a massive 63% of single folk in the Tonbridge area would not go on a second date with someone if they had seen that their house was a tip.  Imagine that, you’ve been gazing into a new paramour’s eyes over a plate of seared scallops and then go back to his for a night cap........ only to be presented with a chipped mug bearing this morning’s coffee tide mark and you can’t find room on the sofa for pizza boxes and old copies of Top Gear magazine.  It would put you off.

Same for the chaps too – a male friend of mine is always deterred when he visits the bathroom at a potential girlfriend’s only to find bras and knickers hanging from the shower rail and a toothpaste tube that hasn't seen its lid since they left Superdrug together.  It’s a definite turn off for him and you have to assume he can’t be alone in that.

And let’s face it, we ladies are terribly judgemental about each too. In a survey conducted by Molly Maid, the UK’s leading domestic cleaning company, a whopping 70% of women judge others on the cleanliness of their homes.  In addition to that, 19% of women equated untidiness to laziness and 13% even think it’s indicative of poor personal hygiene.

The same survey revealed that a massive 75% of respondents wouldn’t go to a friend’s home for dinner if they knew the kitchen was a stranger to anti-bac spray and the floor was often sporting a sticky coat.  Yeeeuch!  In fact, 50% of people would worry about picking up some nasty germs and will seemingly disregard the old “a little bit of dirt don’t hurt” mantra.  I guess one (wo)man’s “little bit of dirt” is another’s OCD trigger point.

Oddly enough, over half of us wouldn’t want to appear rude though if we were given dirty plates or cutlery and we wouldn’t say a word!  I think that’s a Brit thing though and our collective psyche is probably best left for another blog.

And regardless of whether your house is just a little bit grubby or ready for Channel 4’s Declutter Divas to visit, you’ll not be able to keep it a secret.  Over a half of all men in Tonbridge have gossiped about the state of a friend’s home, joking that they tripped over mess.  On this, the chaps are bigger tell-tales, as less than a third of women would talk behind a friend’s back about their untidy home. 

The really houseproud among us may shudder at the thought of a friend’s child assaulting your cream rug (I can’t be the only one to have noticed that small children, biscuits and pale coloured soft furnishings are naturally drawn towards each other like iron filings to a magnet…..?) but consider it the other way round.  Would you take small children into a house you thought wasn’t quite up to your own hygiene standards?  Back to the good burghers of Tonbridge:   65% of people would not let their children play round a dirty house and of the parents that would, over a fifth would give their kids anti-bacterial wipes to keep clean.

The overall message here is that if you want a love life and a social life that involves friends and family, then it’s really important to keep your home clean and inviting.  Your visitors will only make allowances for your long working hours for so long and preferring to spend your time on making yourself look good at the cost of your home is an absolute no-no!  No one cares how white your teeth are if your vacuum cleaner hasn’t seen the light of day since 2008.

If the thought of maintaining a clean and comfortable home daunts you, maybe it’s time to get a cleaner.  Having a professional in a few times a month can make all the difference and will probably make you feel better about yourself too.

Who knows, next time you invite someone in they may be making a mental note that they’d like to spend more time with you in your home and not wondering how best to make a polite escape!


Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Mothering Sunday


Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to see our Mums are probably aiming to see her on Sunday and probably give her a small present to say “thank you”.  I hope to be able to see my own mum and spend some time with my daughters too.  Who knows, I may even get breakfast in bed……..
Of course we shouldn’t just spoil our mums just once a year – a quick straw poll in IM Towers shows that we are all grateful to our mums and try to show our gratitude as often as possible.  The trouble is, we don’t all have the budgets to take mum for tea at the Ritz, so how do we show mum how much we love her on Mother’s Day and still have some change in our pocket?
Flowers are always well received and by that of course I don’t mean petrol station chrysanthemums bought on the way over for dinner, but a specially chosen bunch can say a lot.  My mum loves daffodils and they are in abundance at the moment and usually around £1 a bunch.  Buying several bunches of the same flower makes a very impressive display and you can achieve maximum impact for minimal spend.  Supermarket flowers are increasingly attractive and cost effective too.  A single potted orchid always looks special and will keep flowering for months and will re-flower year after year with some TLC.
Chocolates are a traditional Mothering Sunday treat and once again can be bought very reasonably.  A friend of mine makes her own truffles and they always look and taste superb.  Go on – give it a try! You could discover your inner Nigella.
I’m a mum and one thing I love is a fabulously long bath – preferable with a good book on my kindle and a chilled sauvignon blanc (hint, hint daughters of mine!)  I can’t be alone in this so perhaps you could buy your mum some luxury  bath treats or that good book to read in the bath.  Please note the bathroom is not an obligatory setting for the reading of a good book. We mums can multitask and read anywhere – it’s the opportunity we value the most!  There are some fantastic online discounts for “pamper” products and if you don’t know whether your mum is a Fifty Shades fan or would prefer something more akin to National Geographic, there are always book tokens and gift cards.  Ebooks are particularly inexpensive and if your mum is a 21st Century lady, you could probably give her enough e-reading material to last her until Summer!
One thing that, in my humble opinion, cannot be bought “on the cheap” is perfume.  If it’s too cheap it’s either because it’s not the genuine article or because it may have been acquired by, ahem, less than honest means.  Having said that, once again there are some great offers on line and I have seen voucher codes for some very famous perfume houses.  Perhaps mum can have her signature scent without it breaking your bank after all.
[Reader warning: another heavy hint aimed at Author’s daughters coming up] If mum loves clothes and accessories, or if you know she’d had her eye on a particular pair of shoes, look out for flash sales  - online sales which are held for just a few hours and can have discounts as large as 80%. A good place to start is to register with a site such as www.retailfetish.com and start watching the bargains roll in.  Be warned  - it’s addictive!
There’s a huge trend right for “pre-loved” clothing – yes, it may be second hand but it’s often unworn or has been very well looked after.  A popular site is www.buymywardrobe.com .
Of course, the best things in life are often the simplest and are often free.  A sure fire way to keep mum happy is breakfast in bed.  If you’re 39 and left home 20 years ago, breaking into your parent’s house to whip up eggs benedict without tipping mum off to the surprise may be a little difficult, so make mum lunch or a scrummy afternoon tea instead.  Bake her a cake and serve tea in dainty china cups – it’s the effort that makes mum’s day.
We mums are simple beings and it’s often the smallest gesture that means the most.  How about giving mum a day off and the rest of the family can take over the cooking and cleaning.  Better still give mum a glass of wine and have Iron Maids on speed dial!  You know it makes sense…
To all the mums out there – have a wonderful day and thank you for everything you do for us